Building Stronger Bonds: Essential Tips for Being a Great Friend

This week, I had a conversation with a friend, during which she opened up about her feelings of disappointment due to the lack of support she has received from her friends since entering her freshly postpartum phase of motherhood. Hearing her on this subject, I could relate. I've experienced this myself unfortunately, and this is a topic I have deeply contemplated for years. How terrible is it for women, especially moms, to feel isolated and unsupported. We always hear how we can enhance our romantic relationships, but how about our friendships? It's so important to form strong friendships amongst ladies, and yet it seems more and more challenging to accomplish these days.

As an empathetic and compassionate woman, I've always cherished friendships, enjoying listening to others and providing support. However, in the past, I often spread my energy on those who didn't deserve it or neglected to prioritize my own well-being. There needs to be order; by following a certain hierarchy, our priorities will naturally align. Throughout my life, I have learned to scale back and adopt a more balanced approach.

Here are 22 ways in which you can be a better friend to your girlfriend.

• Offer concrete help during the tough times. Don't say, " Let me know if you need anything". This is an awful response to hear. When a friend is in need they wish to have someone take the initiative to show up and offer an open hear, a meal, or some other kind of support.

• Be the kind of friend to others that you want for yourself.

• Truly listen. Get into your friends story fully before relating your own experiences.

  Oftentimes, we get caught up in relating to our friends pain that we don't give enough room for them to air out what their going through so that they feel understood and supported.

• Be a woman of your word. If you say you're going to do something, do it. Of course there are times when we need to cancel plans, but do your best to show up when you said you would.

• Despite being busy with your kids, make time for your girlfriends. It's when you become a mom that you need a female tribe the most!

• Check-in with your friends from time to time. This goes for the friends you don't see as regularly but still consider a real friend. Even if it's just sending a text asking how someone is and that you're thinking of them, can go a long way.

• Host lady hangouts at your home. When the kids are in bed, have your girlfriends over for a late-night potluck dinner or hangout while the dads watch their little ones.

• Double date with just your girlfriend's husband or double family date. Nurture your friendships.

• Remember their birthdays.

• Show-up for your friends when they give birth. Whether this is with a baby gift and card, a meal, or offering to take care of their older kids for an afternoon. Just let them know you're there.

• Text/call. Check in with your friends in need.

• Show up to your friend's family members funerals. It's not always possible, so in this case you send a card and/or flowers.

• Ask your friend about their loved one who has passed away. It's a mistake to believe that avoiding the topic will spare them pain. In reality, not asking about their feelings and not providing a safe space for them to discuss their grief can make them feel isolated and hurt.

• Learn your friend's love language. It's not just for romantic relationships.

• Compliment your friend! Lift her up by speaking well of her and about her to others. Don't let any jealousy overtake you. Squash it. Recognize your own giftings and blessings so that you may be able to recognize it in your friend.

• Don't offer unwanted advice. Test the waters, don't be preachy or a know-it-all.

• If she doesn't have a dress or an outfit for a certain occasion, offer to go shopping and help her pick out an outfit. Or, give her one of your dresses that you don't need or use anymore that would be fabulous on them. Don't give crummy hand-me-downs.

• Pray for your friends regularly.

• Take care of yourself so that you may give more generously to your friend (others).

• Invite your friend over to your home. Let them in, don't be stingy or superficial.

• Communicate with your friend without blaming her when you feel hurt by something she did. For too long, I kept things inside and sadly didn't speak up out of fear of 'rocking the boat'. Thankfully, I've learnt that it is possible to use my words to speak my truth while being charitable towards another.

• Tell the truth. If the dress looks bad on her, if she has food stuck in her teeth, if she is in the wrong when venting to you about situation, tell her.

• Apologize when needed. Take accountability for your actions, even if a friendship cannot be restored at least you did the right thing and can be at peace.

" God sends us friends to be our firm support in our struggle. In the company of friends we will find strength to obtain our sublime ideal." - St. Maximilian Kolbe